An Occult Passion
by Ami Barton
Summary: To what extent is Mamoru's and Usagi's love really? When love comes to life or death, who will live, and who will love? This story is to be discontinued due to lack of inspiration, if you wish me to continue, review and maybe i'll change my mind.


The long blonde pig-tails of the sixteen year old girl were now soaked, along with the rest of her body, but went unnoticed. Usagi Tsukino stood in the freezing cold rain; her lips locked in an enchanting, magical, spellbinding, kiss. Usagi and Mamoru had been dating for two years, with only a "few" complications. Mamoru had broken up with Usagi once, still loving her, but refusing to let her know this. He had only done so, in his right mind, to ensure that her life be spared. To say the least, Mamoru is very tolerable of Usagi's constant whining and drooling over every guy she meets. Mamoru had to condone her many times, in order to fulfill their dreams together. They were both aware of the fact that they were destined to be with each other, and that they had a future daughter, however to Usagi, this often seemed to be a game. She was always drooling over other guys, and then yelling at anyone who even takes a sideways glance at Mamoru.   
As they drew away from each other, they both for the first time in minutes realized how cold it really was. Mamoru wrapped his arm around Usagi's waist, and lead her in the direction of his apartment building. A roll of thunder, boomed across the starless, and cloudy sky, and in terror, Usagi made an attempt to jump, but in terror himself, of her screaming, Mamoru lead down the slightest and pressed his lips to hers. But just as he had done so she pushed herself away, and broke into a run. Mamoru surprised as he'd ever been sprinted after her. (Which wasn't difficult, since he'd jogged every morning for the past four years.)   
By the time he'd caught up to her, she was sitting on the outside steps of the great apartment building, crying. Her head was placed neatly in her hands, but however, her knees were covered in blood and scrapes. (Mamoru assumed that she had fallen several times on the way there.) Mamoru outstretched a warm and gentle hand in her direction, as an offertory. She ignored it. He put his hand closer to her face. This time, she acknowledged it, by taking one hand off her face, just far enough to push him away. Mamoru was determined to comfort her. So he sat down next to her, but he was only next to her for about three seconds before she stood up. She shot him a dirty look, with her eyes still red with tears, and blood still dripping down her legs, but still managed to run into the building, as fast as her legs would allow her.   
Mamoru took Usagi's resting-place on the steps. 'Why? Why me?' he asked himself. A loud crashing noise came from the balcony above him, and he immediately burst into the building, as he was almost certain that it was Usagi. This was confirmed when he heard the loud wailing sounds as he entered. He rushed up five flights of stairs and back down two, before he found her stretched out on his sofa watching an American TV show all in subtitles. Her eyes were still wet from tears, her knees were still bleeding, and in general she was soaked from the rain. She knew he was there. Weather he knew she knew he was there he was unsure. "Why, does he have to be so perfect?" She asked herself.   
"Only to match your perfection," Mamoru said. "I love you with all my heart, before I met you my life was so worthless, you could compare a tonma to me, and the donkey would have the better life." Usagi stood up to try to walk out on him, again. "Usa-ko, listen to me!" Mamoru grabbed her shoulders and held her firmly. "I couldn't live without you. I'd always been alone before I met you. I love you. Sure, I've liked other girls, but you're the first one I really truly loved."   
"You only say that because you know we're destined. Before you knew that, you hated me, and you know it! I had the biggest crush on you, and all's you did was criticize me! I'd say 'I'm sorry' and what would you say!? Do you know what you said Mamoru!? Do you!?" She only gave him time enough to open his mouth before she started again. "You'd say 'You'd better hurry, you don't want to miss the chance to fail another test!' You mocked me! You still do! Do you know what it's like to have the love of your life call you 'Meatball Head' every day! Do you have any idea how cute you are!" A tear ran down the side of her cheek. Mamoru loosened his grip. Usagi sprinted past him and out the door.   
Mamoru sat down on his couch and stared at the cartoon Usagi was previously watching. The television was blaring English lyrics to a theme song for a show he'd never heard of. The tune however was extremely catchy; "Catdog, catdog..." After an episode of this, he picked up the remote control and hit the channel button. The channel didn't change however. He tried again. Nothing. He shook the remote, as if it would make a difference. He heard a small rattling sound coming from the back. He opened the compartment where the batteries were to be placed. There were no batteries. Instead there was a small diamond ring. Mamoru remembered placing it there three nights ago when Usagi was supposed to have come over. She didn't and he hadn't watched TV since. He had put it there relying on Usagi to change the channel, or at least try, find it wouldn't work, open the case, find the ring, and look at him choked. He would then have gotten down on one knee, and proposed. 'If she had known that, would she be like this?' Mamoru thought. 'Or would she not even be here at all?' He tried to imagine living his life without her. He did that for hours. Eventually he fell asleep.   
His dreams were not of the ordinary, futuristic fantasies, but instead of the past. He saw himself being slapped for forgetting Usagi's birthday, which she had never told him in the first place, he saw himself making cracks about her being fat, or her bad grades. He felt horribly guilty about these times; he'd felt guilty while they were happening. He saw himself going on dates with Rei. He could only imagine the pain Usagi was going through at these times.   
Mamoru was brought back to reality by an annoying voice on the television saying, "Konnichi wa minna-san! Today is September 10, and it's time for our daily Friendly Phone-In!" Mamoru sat up, eager to see which desperate girl was going to call in and say "Hi, today's my birthday I just wanted to remind my boyfriend so I know he doesn't forget," today.   
A message came up at the bottom of the screen that read, "Usagi, Azabu Juuban" Mamoru's mouth dropped. A high-pitched voice came over the speakers, "Hello, today is not my birthday, my boyfriend knows that, but what my boyfriend doesn't know is..." Her voice cracked. "...Is that, Mamo-chan, I love you, and all that other shit, but... but..." There was complete silance for a moment, and then he heard the sound of her cries for help. Cries from all the pain she was going through. Mamoru wanted to cry as well, for he knew, whatever it was, it wouldn't be good. Mamoru could see her tears now. "I- I-" the TV stuttered "can't." That was it. Her name went away from the bottom of the screen, and the annoying male voice came back.   
"Well, I think Mamo-chan may need to think about a few things." Mamoru stood up and turned the television off.   
As he walked silently into his bedroom, to change into different clothes, (as he was still wearing yesterday's) he thought about what Usagi had said. "She said it over public television! Everybody in Azabu watches that station, and everybody knows she calls me 'Mamo-chan', and now I'll never hear the end of it!" Although he was furious, Mamoru voice cracked as he spoke each word and his eyes became moist. He let only one tear fall from his eyes. The rest he left to the eyes, for he knew if he didn't, he'd be unable to get any work done.   
Mamoru was dressed in a green tweed jacket covering his black shirt, and a pair of khakis. He left the building with a face of confusment, guilt, and an overpowering amount of sadness. But as he entered the school building and found himself surrounded by girls from all directions, he tried to smile. It was an attempt, which was not fulfilled. He overlooked all of the surrounding females, and eyed their boyfriends looking in desprate need of help. A few of them caught a drift and came over and wrapped their arms around their girlfriends. Most of them left, but one of the guys had come up to him and asked to have a word later on that afternoon.   
As the day went on, all thoughts revolved around Usagi. They always had, but today just seemed like the worst day. Mamoru was extremely good in all of his classes, and scarcily missed out on answering questions. But not today.   
It wasn't untill Chemistry, that his unusual behavior was noted. He had done an ordinary student action, such as setting his head on the desk, when his professor had noticed him. "Mr. Chiba," ha had said. "I am worried about you. You've never expressed such actions in this or any other class aqs far as I am aware. Am I correct?" Mamoru nodded, but not in agreement, he had hardly comprehended what was being asked. It was only to show that he was still awake. "Well, in that case Mr. Chiba," the professor walked over to Mamoru's desk. Mamoru looked up at him. It was the first time in five years of his teachings, that Mamoru noticed the professor's patriarchal look. His hair was a loose shade of grey, turning white, his face was withered, and his clothes showed of a man whose life revolved around his past, most likely in the late sixties.   
"Yes?" Mamoru asked.   
"Didn't you hear me? I said go to the nurse. You're ill, Mr. Chiba."   
Mamoru stood slowly. He was not ill. If anything he was dazed. He made his way out of the room, but did not go to the nurse's office. Instead he took the right wing. He had planned to go directly to the pay phones and call Usagi. He glanced down at his watch; 4:36. 'Perfect,' he thought to himself.   
"Yes. Isn' it though," said a voice from the corner. "She'll be arriving home in just a few minutes."   
"Uh."   
"I know you. And I know your little girlfriend too." he man snickered. He had a huge grin on his face. Mamoru felt like he was about to pull a knife out of his pocket, from the look on his face. The man was dressed entirely in black, execpt for a red rose in his front pocket. "Hmm," the man said oddly. Then he shook his head. "No." He now reached into his pocket. This was it. Mamoru took full precaution. "I have no weapons." He cleaned out hsi pockets. All that was contained was a paperclip, a button, and a peice of paper. He held the items out in his hand. The paper immediatly fell to the ground. The man looked up. He stuffed the oddities back in his pocket, leaving the paper and walking away. Mamoru spun around, no one was there. Why had he left?   
Mamoru hesitated before going on. This was partly because he had forgotten why and where he was going for a brief moment. As he walked to the end of the hallway, he spoke quietly to himself. "Who was that? And how did he know me. How dis he know Usagi? And how did he always seem to know what I was thinking?" Many thoughts raced through his mind. He streched out his arm, picked up the reciver, and started to dial Usagi's number.   
  
  
The kiction clock read 4:50 when the phone began to ring. Ikuko reacted, and yelled across the house, "Shingo! Get the phone!" It rang once more, before Shinjo got up from playing his Sailor Moon RPG.   
"Moshi, Moshi?" he answered. There was a silance for a moment, and then the speaker on the oppisite line spoke.   
"Hello, is Usagi there?" the voice asked eagerly.   
"Uh, no she's not, may I take a message, so I can get back to my game?"   
By this point Mamoru knew it was Shingo, that he was speaking to. "Yeah, Shinjo, tell 'er that I called."   
"Will do!" Shingo said shortly, and hung up.   
Just as Shingo had put the phone on the reciever, Usagi went through the door. "Hey Mom, I'm going upstairs, I've got to do my homework." Her tone was not her unsual, and neither was the activity of which she was about to fulfill   
"What!?" asked her mother and brother in unisine.   
Usagi looked half way down the steps, and replied calmly, "You heard me. I'm going up to do my homework,"she repeated. From that point in time she made her way up the steps without further interuptions. She walked into her room without a word, and softly pet the black furball which was streched out on the bed. After these daily activities, Usagi sat on the bed next to the cat. The cat opened one eye slowly, and streched. Usagi opened a never-before-used textbook, and began taking notes.   
"Am I dreaming? Or is Usagi-chan doing homework?"   
"Yes, Luna," she said without turning he head. "Homework first, as always."   
"I am dreaming," Luna said as her only reaction.   
Usagi was totally quiet after that. She didn't say anything until the familier voice of her mother traveled up the stairs giving her a five minute warning of dinner. The mention of food was the only thing that kept Usagi from containing herself. It was now her only hope, she was convinced that Mamoru only loved her becuase it was said to be destiny. The lines, "Why should my whole life be guided by what happened to us in the past?" repeated themselves constantly in her head. Mamoru had said this, only but once, but it made a life-changing inpact on her. Usagi had never fully healed from these words, nor had she healed from the sight of Mamoru with any other woman; it made no difference if it was Motaki's sister, or Ami. She'd always seen this and thought right back to those words. Now, it was final. She couldn't control it, he'd always done this to her. When it was thought that they'd hated each other, it seemed to her that he was doing nothing but controling her. Now, she could only hope, that getting rid of the source, would get rid of the problem...   
  
  
Mamoru, shaken from disopointment, stood completley isolated from the world. At least, he was, until he was caught by the last person he wanted to meet at that point A short, blue-haired, girl was quickly approching him. He was only stunned more by the sight of Ami Mizuno, medical genius. Somehow, she didn't seem the same to him today, but he was unable to tell exactly what it was. As she walked towards him more and more, he only became more uncomfortable. He always had whenever his emotions took the best of him. 'Ami would be sure to notice,' he told himself as she came nearer to him.   
"Mamoru, is that you?" Ami asked timidly. Mamoru nodded. As expected, Ami noticed Mamoru's expression of overwhelment. She ran over to him, she herself was rather confused and had only gone to Mamoru for advise.   
"Ami, I have to go," Mamoru said shortly and walked down the hallway.   
"But--" Ami's sentence was short and needed no finishing.   
"Ami, it's Usagi. You understand?"   
Ami did as expected and stayed where she was, at least until Mamoru was out of sight. She sensed a certain fear in his eyes. His eyes were always overpowering to her.   
  
  
To Be Continued...... 


End file.
